How to Deal with Failure - Car Chats with Bessie

Today I failed. I didn’t just fail a little, a failed alot.

While I was driving yesterday early morning I saw the moon. It was huge, and gorgeous, and beautiful, and I just wanted to get a picture of it. Since I couldn't I decided that I would get up early the next day to get a picture of it.

So, this morning I got up early, grabbed all my stuff, and headed out to the perfect spot to see the moon. I had done all the things let me tell you. I had planned it, I had done all my research, I had looked at Angles and locations, and I was set to get an amazing moon-set picture. The weather wasn't supposed to roll in until 11 in the afternoon which meant clear morning skies and absolutely amazingness.

As I packed all my stuff into the car  I looked up and saw  all sorts of clouds .  Now it wasn't supposed to be cloudy until the afternoon but it was definitely cloudy at 6 this morning . I decided to try for it anyway . I was thinking that possibly the clouds might break just a little bit for me to get a picture of the moon, or if I wasn't able to do that then I was definitely going to be able to get a picture of the sunrise . Honestly, I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to get one picture whether it be the sunrise or the moon set.  There was no reason to even think twice about this . Either way it was a win win. Moon rise or sunrise over the gorgeous blooming orchards. So off I went to my spot .  

I got to my spot and of course lots of clouds .  I wasn't super worried because like I said I was going to get a sunrise photo . I love sunrises they're super gorgeous and pastel colors are just amazing . It was going to be the perfect spot to get that Sunrise so no worries here..   

As the time was passing it was becoming more and more obvious that there was not going to be a sunrise.  I was keeping my hopes up , but in the back of my mind I knew that it was going to happen . The clouds came into the East way too quickly  and right before sunrise .  The morning started to get brighter, the clouds started to light up, and then everything faded… To my disappointment I didn't get a moon-set photo or a sunrise photo . I packed up my things and I headed back to the truck. 

Me being me, I started beating myself up .  I am my own worst critic , and I'm really mean to myself  oh, this is something that I'm working on but I know that other people do the same thing especially other creatives and small business owners .  Now this is where I want to talk to you a little bit about  failure .  

If you are trying something failure is inevitable at some point . You are going to fail at something  and at some moment in your life . If you are creative and a small business owner you're going to fail all the time .  In today's world we are so used to seeing  everybody's highlight reel .  We only see their good things, we never see their failures .

In my opinion,  since we aren't sharing our failures we are doing a huge Injustice to other people . We are creating this false expectation that no one ever fails .

So I wanted to share with you one of my failures . I have made a bajillion YouTube videos  and never posted them because those trips were failures . Something in the trip along the way didn't go right and I didn't get the shot that I wanted. So what happens? Well let me tell you, I don't get to share those videos, I don't get to share those moments, and I didn't get the photo that I wanted.

This happens all the time especially in landscape photography. We cannot control the weather. You can plan all you want but ultimately is up to Mother Nature to be nice and allow you to get that shot.

Did I get a shot today? Yes.

Do I love it? No.

Is it a good shot? Well that depends on who you ask.

Let me know in the comments below what your thoughts are. Here is the image from today;s adventure:

Now with all that being said this is why I'm sharing this failure with you .  We are so used to comparing our behind-the-scenes crap to everyone else's highlight reel . We don't see other people's crap  so we begin to think that were ultimate failures . We begin to believe that we cannot succeed, we believe that it's all our fault, we ask ourselves what's wrong with me? We blame ourselves, we begin to think we aren't good enough, we get feeling down, and we struggle quite a bit with the idea that we should just give up .  

This is me telling you that you're not alone, this is me telling you that it's okay to fail . It is okay to fail you just have to try again, you can't give up on yourself, you can't compare yourself to other people's highlight reels, and you will succeed at some point .  Don't stop trying . If you fail just get up and try again, maybe go grab yourself some coffee , take a nice hot shower , get up the next morning and try it again . The only time that you're actually going to fail is if you stop trying .  

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement ”

— C.S. Lewis

Failing sucks… it just does. There is no way to say it other than to be blunt…. failing sucks. So, here are 10 ways on how to deal with failure:

How to Deal with Failure in Landscape Photography

1. Accept how you feel

2. Don’t make it personal

3. Stop dwelling on it

4. Remember that you aren’t a failure just because you had a setback

5. Acknowledge irrational beliefs about failure

6. Ask yourself what you can learn

7. Accept only the appropriate amount of responsibility

8. Don’t get stuck in mulling the situation over for too long

9. Remind yourself - anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail.

10. Don’t give up!

I hope this blog was helpful and just got you thinking about how you aren’t a failure. I hope that this blog can help even just one person to recognize that they are too hard on themselves, that comparing someone else’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes doesn’t make you a failure, that it is ok to not get the shot everytime, that it is ok to not accomplish what you set out to accomplish on that specific day just get up and try again. This doesn’t make you a failure.

You are amazing. The only time that you ultimately fail is when you give up and quit. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Share your successes, share your failures, be real, be honest, be kind to yourself, and keep trying.

Wishing you the very best!

Bessie

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