Inspiration for Creative Entrepreneurs | Be Kind to Yourself | Car Chats With Bessie

2018 was rough. I struggled almost the entire year though. There were so many ups and downs and I just couldn’t wait for the year to be over. I thought that there might be ‘something in the air’ for… yes… the entire year.

When I started looking back on my 2018 accomplishments, downfalls, and just the year as a whole, I began to realize that it really wasn’t that bad. I started to realize that it was really just me. My own negative self talk.

You see, I am super mean to myself. I put myself down all the time:

“You’re not experienced enough”

“You’re not good enough”

“You aren’t worth that kind of money”

“You don’t deserve that”

“You are just a poser”

blah blah blah blah blah. The list goes on and on and on. I do this to myself constantly.

So when I started looking back on 2018 I started to realize that most of the things were really just myself being mean to myself, criticizing my work, and ultimately just putting myself down on a regular daily basis.

We seriously are our own worst critics. How can we expect anyone else to appreciate us, to love us, to value our work, if we are constantly devaluing ourselves to ourself?

So this year one of my hardest goals I think I set out to accomplish was to be nicer to myself. You see this is going to be an internal struggle. This isn’t something that I can write down, reach that magic number, and then be stoked that I accomplished my goal. This is something that is just going to be a daily accomplishment.

Did I say anything negative?

“Was I nice to myself today? ”

My question is, why do we do this? Why do you do this to yourself? Comment below. I would absolutely love to hear. Let’s support each other!

I believe that as creatives we struggle with this. At least most creatives do . We have an idea in our head, and when it doesn’t come out exactly like the idea in our head we start the ‘talk’. You see, I grew up with creatives. My mom, my aunts, my sisters. We are all creatives and we all do this! I took art classes in high school and every single person would put their work down and pointing out all the flaws. Yes, all the flaws.

Why are we not pointing out the good things in our work? Showing it off to the world and explaining how awesome it is? Honestly, I believe this is taught and looked down on. We aren’t supposed to boast or show off. So, instead of ‘bragging’ about how great our work is, we start criticizing it.

Let’s freaking stop doing this! All this does is ingrain in our head that, in fact, all our insecurities are true. It is just a downward spiral. The more you create, the more negative self talk you can provide, and the worse our outlook on ourself becomes.

So I hope you will join me this year in being kind to yourself. Let’s talk nicely to ourself. Lets stop this constant negative self talk. Comment ‘i’m in’ below if you want to join me in this uphill battle.

You are absolutely beautiful and amazing just the way you are. You do amazing work. Don’t let yourself tell you otherwise.

“There is only one you in this world and that is your power”

I am hanging this quote on everything. Just as a friendly reminder not to be so dang harsh. Maybe this quote isn’t for you, but it yells at me every time I read it. Find a quote to remind yourself how awesome you are, how far you have come, how you are good enough and print it out as a friendly reminder and a little helper to be kind to yourself.

Wishing you nothing but the most positive 2019!

Bessie

How to Deal with Failure - Car Chats with Bessie

Today I failed. I didn’t just fail a little, a failed alot.

While I was driving yesterday early morning I saw the moon. It was huge, and gorgeous, and beautiful, and I just wanted to get a picture of it. Since I couldn't I decided that I would get up early the next day to get a picture of it.

So, this morning I got up early, grabbed all my stuff, and headed out to the perfect spot to see the moon. I had done all the things let me tell you. I had planned it, I had done all my research, I had looked at Angles and locations, and I was set to get an amazing moon-set picture. The weather wasn't supposed to roll in until 11 in the afternoon which meant clear morning skies and absolutely amazingness.

As I packed all my stuff into the car  I looked up and saw  all sorts of clouds .  Now it wasn't supposed to be cloudy until the afternoon but it was definitely cloudy at 6 this morning . I decided to try for it anyway . I was thinking that possibly the clouds might break just a little bit for me to get a picture of the moon, or if I wasn't able to do that then I was definitely going to be able to get a picture of the sunrise . Honestly, I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to get one picture whether it be the sunrise or the moon set.  There was no reason to even think twice about this . Either way it was a win win. Moon rise or sunrise over the gorgeous blooming orchards. So off I went to my spot .  

I got to my spot and of course lots of clouds .  I wasn't super worried because like I said I was going to get a sunrise photo . I love sunrises they're super gorgeous and pastel colors are just amazing . It was going to be the perfect spot to get that Sunrise so no worries here..   

As the time was passing it was becoming more and more obvious that there was not going to be a sunrise.  I was keeping my hopes up , but in the back of my mind I knew that it was going to happen . The clouds came into the East way too quickly  and right before sunrise .  The morning started to get brighter, the clouds started to light up, and then everything faded… To my disappointment I didn't get a moon-set photo or a sunrise photo . I packed up my things and I headed back to the truck. 

Me being me, I started beating myself up .  I am my own worst critic , and I'm really mean to myself  oh, this is something that I'm working on but I know that other people do the same thing especially other creatives and small business owners .  Now this is where I want to talk to you a little bit about  failure .  

If you are trying something failure is inevitable at some point . You are going to fail at something  and at some moment in your life . If you are creative and a small business owner you're going to fail all the time .  In today's world we are so used to seeing  everybody's highlight reel .  We only see their good things, we never see their failures .

In my opinion,  since we aren't sharing our failures we are doing a huge Injustice to other people . We are creating this false expectation that no one ever fails .

So I wanted to share with you one of my failures . I have made a bajillion YouTube videos  and never posted them because those trips were failures . Something in the trip along the way didn't go right and I didn't get the shot that I wanted. So what happens? Well let me tell you, I don't get to share those videos, I don't get to share those moments, and I didn't get the photo that I wanted.

This happens all the time especially in landscape photography. We cannot control the weather. You can plan all you want but ultimately is up to Mother Nature to be nice and allow you to get that shot.

Did I get a shot today? Yes.

Do I love it? No.

Is it a good shot? Well that depends on who you ask.

Let me know in the comments below what your thoughts are. Here is the image from today;s adventure:

Now with all that being said this is why I'm sharing this failure with you .  We are so used to comparing our behind-the-scenes crap to everyone else's highlight reel . We don't see other people's crap  so we begin to think that were ultimate failures . We begin to believe that we cannot succeed, we believe that it's all our fault, we ask ourselves what's wrong with me? We blame ourselves, we begin to think we aren't good enough, we get feeling down, and we struggle quite a bit with the idea that we should just give up .  

This is me telling you that you're not alone, this is me telling you that it's okay to fail . It is okay to fail you just have to try again, you can't give up on yourself, you can't compare yourself to other people's highlight reels, and you will succeed at some point .  Don't stop trying . If you fail just get up and try again, maybe go grab yourself some coffee , take a nice hot shower , get up the next morning and try it again . The only time that you're actually going to fail is if you stop trying .  

“Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement ”

— C.S. Lewis

Failing sucks… it just does. There is no way to say it other than to be blunt…. failing sucks. So, here are 10 ways on how to deal with failure:

How to Deal with Failure in Landscape Photography

1. Accept how you feel

2. Don’t make it personal

3. Stop dwelling on it

4. Remember that you aren’t a failure just because you had a setback

5. Acknowledge irrational beliefs about failure

6. Ask yourself what you can learn

7. Accept only the appropriate amount of responsibility

8. Don’t get stuck in mulling the situation over for too long

9. Remind yourself - anyone who wants to do things of value in life will fail.

10. Don’t give up!

I hope this blog was helpful and just got you thinking about how you aren’t a failure. I hope that this blog can help even just one person to recognize that they are too hard on themselves, that comparing someone else’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes doesn’t make you a failure, that it is ok to not get the shot everytime, that it is ok to not accomplish what you set out to accomplish on that specific day just get up and try again. This doesn’t make you a failure.

You are amazing. The only time that you ultimately fail is when you give up and quit. Don’t give up. Don’t quit. Share your successes, share your failures, be real, be honest, be kind to yourself, and keep trying.

Wishing you the very best!

Bessie

P.s. Love this post? Check out these similar ones:

Uninspired? Find Your Motivation | Inspiration for Creative Entrepreneurs | Car Chats With Bessie

Recently I was watching a Peter Mckinnon video. I mean ya, everyone probably saw it because he has a bajillion followers. It was all about feeling uninspired.

He called it photographers block . I thought that was just perfect !  The entire video is really good and it was all about things that you could do  to become inspired again , or to get over this so-called photographers block .  

As I started reading through the comments I noticed a reoccurring comment, or a reoccurring theme. There were so many people talking about comparison. They were saying how they can't seem to overcome the hole comparison game, how comparison is the death of motivation, and how social media is really feeding people to compare themselves to others.

Naturally I started commenting trying to help him to stay motivated. Explaining how they shouldn't be comparing themselves to others, blah blah blah. Then I started realizing that I should just create a video in a blog post about this. There are so many people struggling with this .  So here it is my blog post all about  comparing yourself and what I do to make sure that I don't compare myself to others .  

Now it's kind of inevitable right? We have social media in our face, we have the world at our fingertips because we carry our smartphone everywhere we go. So we are getting inundated with so much information .  We see all these people being so successful, and we begin to doubt our self. We begin to think what's wrong with me?  

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

I'm here to tell you my friend that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you . You see the problem with social media is we see everybody's highlight reel . Do we even really know  that this is real? That their successes real? That those photos are real? Yet we want to compare yourself to something that we don't really even know  the truth behind it .  The other thing is is we don't see the struggles that these successful people have been through. We don't see how long it's taking them to get to where they are today .  We might have been in business for only a couple years yet we're comparing yourself to someone that's been grinding it out for 10 or 15 years . We have to remember this  or the other idea is to just stop comparing yourself  two other people on the internet . Now hear me out . . .  

I say that we start comparing ourself to ourself .  I'm sure you're kind of wondering what I mean but just listen for a second and you'll totally understand where I'm going .  If we start comparing ourselves to our self we will start realizing how far we've come in our craft . Take a moment and look back at when you first started . Look at your photos, or your Creations, a few years ago . Now compare them to something that you just did recently .  Don't you notice how far you have come ?. 

“ Now if that is not motivation I really don’t know what it is ”

You can see your success . You can see your growth. You can see how awesome you're becoming.  You can see that you are getting better . You can see all the changes that you've made throughout the years to be where you are today . Now if you would have stopped pushing forward you wouldn't be the badass that you are today. If you would have stopped because you kept comparing yourself and thinking that you're not good enough then you wouldn't be as good as you are today. So my friend stop comparing yourself to other people and just compare yourself to yourself. Whenever you start realizing that you are comparing yourself to others, and you realize that you're starting to feel down, you're starting to doubt yourself, and so forth pull up your old stuff. Pull up your old images from years ago and start comparing those to the ones that you just took. Believe me it's going to make you happy, it's going to motivate you, and it's going to make you realize that you are getting better, and that you will continue to get better as time goes on as long as you continue to pursue what you love.

Lets compare some of my photos:

So there you have it. My progression from 2007. Whenever I choose to compare myself to myself I begin to feel so much dang better. I see how far I have come, I realize how much I have grown as an individual and a creative. Then, I become inspired to do more, get better, try harder.

“So lets stop comparing ourselves to other people. Lets just compare ourselves to ourselves. ”

Can you relate? Leave a comment below! I would love to hear how you avoid the Photographers block, how to avoid getting uninspired, how you find your motivation to continue to do what you love.

Wishing you nothing but the most positive 2019!

Bessie

The Creative Process | Inspiration for Creative Entrepreneurs | Car Chats With Bessie

Ahhh, being a creative… We have so many different ups and downs. The creative process is tricky, but it is only tricky when it comes to your mind. We play so many mind games on ourselves it is crazy.

There are a ton of different funny quotes about the creative process. You can find all sorts of images that can make you laugh and that you can completely relate to. I just figured, I would create one myself, explain what actually goes on in our heads, and then share it with you! So here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy, get a good laugh, and can relate to it all :)

The Creative Process | Inspiration for Creative Entrepreneurs

Car Chats With Bessie

So here is my version of the creative process:

1. Yas! This is awesome!

   This is the beginning of it all. We get inspired, have an awesome idea in our head, and are freaking gung ho to make it come to life.

   At this point we gather all the supplies, all the things, maybe some coffee along the way, and then get to creating.

2. This is hard…

   As we start ‘making it happen’ it becomes apparent that the idea is way harder to make come to life than we expected. We begin to question ourselves. Like

   • “What the hell was I even thinking starting this project?”

   • “This seemed so much easier in my head”

   • “Why the crap do I do this to myself”

   • “What is wrong with me? Why isn’t this easier?”

3. This sucks!

   After we get to creating, realize how hard it actually is, and start seeing the product actually come to life all hell breaks loose. Everything gets questioned. We begin to doubt ourself because things may not be going as planned. We get uninspired, sad, and we start all the negative talk…

4. I suck! I should quit.

   Yep, all the negative self talk one can, or can’t, handle. This is in the heart of the project. Where we begin to want to give up. Where we question everything and when I say everything I mean everything. We even begin to question life choices that aren’t even related to the project itself.

   This is where we then also start to compare ourselves to others.

   • “Why do I even try, look how good they are doing”

   • “What is wrong with me?”

   • “Oh crap I can’t ever find anything around here. I really need to get better at being organized.”

   • “I definitely shouldn’t have had all those drinks during New Years”

   • “Why can’t I ever finish a new years resolution? Oh ya, because I suck!”

   • “I suck. People are just lying when they say they like my stuff”

5. This might be ok…

   After kicking our own ass, possibly for days, we start to see the final product. We start to realize that there might be some hope. That there is a possibility that the project might turn out just ok. Maybe not great. Maybe not what we expected it to be, but good enough.

   • “Huh…. maybe it’s not that bad”

   • “Maybe it will turn out ok. I guess I will finish it just to see the final product complete, but I won’t share it with anyone”

6. Yas! This is awesome!

   The project is complete. This phase might take a few days to actually make it to. We might be stuck in phase 4 or 5 for days. When I say days, I mean freaking days. Not like seconds, or minutes, or hours…. DAYS.

   We inspect the project, look at it over and over again, talk to our Mom about all the good and bad aspects of it. You know… why it sucks and why it might be ok. What all the flaws are about the final product. What might make it a pretty cool accomplishment.

   We then walk away. Sleep on it. Inspect it again. Eventually we realize how awesome it really is and we get the courage up to share it with others.

So there you have it. The creative process. The funny, somewhat ridiculous, and oh so very real things we go through on a day to day basis. Being a creative definitely has its ups and downs. It can get crazy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love being a creative, being able to have a vision of something and make it come to life :)

Can you relate? Leave a comment below! I would love to hear your version of one of the phases, or your version of the entire creative process :)

Wishing you nothing but the most positive 2019!

Bessie